Breaking news
Kristianstad: The police report a traffic accident -
Fy 17 how good, Djokovic -
Discovery’s diss of Halmstad and Hammarby -
Zelensky: 500 Ukrainian children dead in the war -
Fy 17 how good, Djokovic -
Sirius took the second straight victory -

Fredrik Strage: Help, I’ve wasted all of 2023

Fredrik Strage: Help, I’ve wasted all of 2023
Fredrik Strage: Help, I’ve wasted all of 2023

Forgetting my bag on the train home from the film festival in Värnamo. Describes the contents of an email to SJ’s lost and found department: a signed book with film reviews by Stig Björkman, a t-shirt that combines the logo of the goth band Bauhaus with the eye slit in Luis Buñuel’s film “The Andalusian Dog” and – annoyingly – my planning calendar.

Suddenly I have no idea what to do for the rest of the year. I have wasted all of 2023. “What do we learn from this?” asks a friend. “That you should get a digital calendar!”

Unfortunately, I am an analog person. If I don’t write down meetings, dinners and errands in my paper calendar, it doesn’t feel like they will actually happen. I have to call in, underline and mess around with colored pencils to remember everything. And apparently I’m right. Recently, a group of researchers at the Karolinska Institute sent a referral to the Minister of Education stating that students learn worse when they use digital tools.

My girlfriend shares my love for office supplies. If I say “now we take out our paper calendars and plan this” it sparkles a little extra in her eyes. She is not as fond of my ability to slip things away. I have a flaky personality. I do most things quickly and often accidentally break or lose things.

Because of that, there are a lot of nice things in my home that I’d rather not use. A pair of leather gloves from Marc Jacobs, for example, which remain in their gift box. And an expensive wine decanter. I don’t wear my Ray-Bans either because I know they would immediately dematerialize.

I don’t know how I became clumsy, but my ability to lose things is possibly a legacy of my mother who, throughout my growing up, kept losing her keys. When she started exhibiting abstract expressionist art, I told myself that we shared a kind of inner creative chaos, where there was no room for little things like where to put car keys, wallets or glasses.

I nodded in agreement when Bodil Malmsten once wrote: “Put the keys in the same place and you’ll find them,” say people who don’t know what stress is. Same place as what?” Last year I lost my apartment keys. After several days of searching, I found them – in the freezer.

Some things, the most important ones, tend to return if I get rid of them. They are like satellites in orbit around me. So that they don’t lose that quality, I never replace them. I’ve had the same wallet since the nineties—torn, dented, full of receipts—because the smaller models I’ve tried disappear instantly. I’ve had my AC/DC bottle opener keychain since 1997. It even returned after I dropped it in a street well.

And this time I’m also lucky with the calendar. A kind soul finds my bag on the train and I can pick it up at SJ’s lost property department. A month later I lecture at the gay club Stockholm Bears. On the way home by subway, I forget the same bag again. I describe the contents of an email to SL’s lost and found department: disco producer Patrick Cowley’s erotic diary “Mechanical fantasy box”, a Tom of Finland t-shirt and – annoyingly – my planning calendar.

I am ashamed and am seriously considering getting a digital calendar. But then one morning I see something sticking out of the laundry basket. The calendar! Apparently I had neglected it even before I was aware that I neglected it. But the bag (black shoulder strap model from Fred Perry) is still gone. Shout if you see it.

Read more chronicles and other texts by Fredrik Strage.

The article is in Swedish

Tags: Fredrik Strage Ive wasted


PREV For sale: Brand new Scott Scale 930 carbon fiber hardtail in size L
NEXT Zelensky: 500 Ukrainian children dead in the war